My Mind does not Give up -- Me

Sometimes when I see no one
I mock my own idea of fun
I ask wrong questions
In the hope
They have no answers

I am so afraid
There is nothing else to say
I think I love hate
I cant leave anything to fate
My mind does not give up

My ears still hear the echo
Telling me I am a survivor
I knew no other way
Now that there is nothing to fight
My heart cannot see the light

I try to climb up a notch
Everyday
The ladder of self contempt
While I look for some role
Not staring at the darkness

I have my lonely days
When I focus on the haze
Its always about I
This world
I don’t even want to try

Its easy to hate everything
Say that my thoughts go deep
And that my soul is crying
I cant make you laugh
Why did I take this leap

Its easy to stop loving
You are so much me
I can just hate myself
But when I look at you
I don’t know what to do